High Etiquette in Elothnin

a clearly unwholesome man breaking several rules of etiquette at once

The rules of etiquette in the fair land of Elothnin are considered by many to be convoluted, contradictory, and outdated. In spite of this, they remain alive and well among the elite of the empire because proper adherence to them is seen as a mark of one's good breeding and distinguished character. This article attempts to outline some of the more well-known customs and manners, but it should be noted that it is by no means exhaustive.

Rules of Conversation

• It is considered uncouth to talk about the customs of foreign nations (as their strange ways are thought to be, in turn, frightful and titillating to women), matters of finance (since one who feels the need to crow about their spending obviously cannot support a fine lifestyle), and one's upbringing or education (royals consider childhood and adolescence undignified). It should be noted that the Border Wars can be discussed, but only in the context of veiled comments made while playing a highly popular military strategy game (usually on a giant board with obedient peasant used as pieces) named Carrot Takes Radish.

• To support the illusion that royals and vassals life a completely cloistered life, many consider it rude (verging on insulting) to be approached by their friends doing such mundane things as shopping for food, or going about their morning routine. It is considered even more rude to mention that someone was spotted doing such things in more refined environs - it has in fact, actually inspired several well-known duels.

• When engaged in conversation, one needs to strike a fine balance between affection and standoffishness. Typically, this is achieved by making a caustic remark and then immediately following it up with an affirmation of some kind. The former is meant to establish one's wit and position in the social hierarchy, while the former is an affiliative maneuver to solidify good relations.
  

• One should never laugh unless one is wearing a mask or holding an alcoholic beverage. If one is in such situations, one should laugh obnoxiously more or less constantly.
  

Rules of Cross-Gender Interaction

• A man should never approach a woman standing alone who he is not well associated with. To do so suggests that she is no better than a common whore (that said, many say that women should never stand alone as it invites such comparisons). However, a man approaching a pair of ladies is frowned upon because it may result in a pairing off that leaves the second woman alone, looking like a strumpet. Thus, men may only approach a lady if he has enough gentlemen accompanying him to provide escorts to each of her friends.
  

• Making introductions is an exception to the above rule. It is considered somewhat forward, but a single person of either gender may approach someone who they are known to be well acquainted with (of either gender) in order to approach someone they do not yet know. In such a situation, the individual approaches their friend on some shallow pretense, and their friend introduces them to the unknown person. If this exchange occurred in a public area, good faith has been established, reputations upheld, and the friend can make a graceful exit (unless, of course, they are a woman alone).
  

• Courtship in Elothnin's high society is an elaborate process of face-saving and reputation-negotiation, full of public announcements. For a man and woman caught in this process, their interactions are shifted according to each new development. Thus, a man and a woman must adhere to nonverbal mannerisms as well, so as not to give the wrong impression. In general, they should: stand no closer than 8 inches to one another, touch each other only on the shoulder or the forearm (and then only briefly), turn slightly outward so that they do not appear to be excluding others from their conversation, and either sustain eye contact or smile indulgently, but not both.
  

Rules of Conduct and Attire at Court

• Much of the time of those at court is occupied through various balls and hunts. Such activities give the court a chance to mingle with itself. Under the pretense of carefree amusement, such activities are actually sites of sexual politics, gossip, and social ostracization - each of which is fueled by someone's idiotic refusal to adhere to the basic rules outlined above. Each of those are watched much more closely at court in the contexts of social activities, thus transgressions are more noticeable and their consequences amplified.

• At a ball where dancing will ensue, men and women occupy two sides of the ballroom, separated by a satin rope. Men are allowed to cross the rope to invite ladies to dance on the floor, but for no other reason. It should also be noted that all those not wishing to dance should excuse themselves from the ballroom, since it is considered indecorous for a man of high breeding to allow a lady to go unpartnered at a dance (this usually results in many men hounding the remaining poor lass for a dance right as the music starts). However, a dance at the ball only suggests that the partners are now acquainted if neither individual has danced with anyone else (which, again, can cause some tongues to wag).

• The fashions worn at court have their own code of manners to contend with. Every royal and vassal family has adopted a family color, which should be worn prominently at such gatherings as a visual marker of who may approach who most freely, what political alliances are forming, etc., all of which play a part in who chooses to dance with who. Additionally, a man should not remove his hate before a lady removes her gloves (since both suggest familiarity), but a lady should remove one glove in order to receive a kiss on the hand from a gloved man. Hairstyles, as well, suggest certain things about those who wear them: for women, updos signal a women not interested in relations with the other sex (which cam be interpreted many ways) and intricate braids or twists suggest that a woman is open for courtship and male attention. Occasionally, a woman will let her hair fall and then invite a man to help her re-pin it - an act, while still considered polite, is thought to suggest that the pair's copulation is a forgone conclusion.